A funny cartoon makes the rounds every so often that depicts a homeschooling mom carting her child to an event and giving him an exhaustive list of things not to say or do.
The reason it's funny is because we've all done it.
What...you haven't? You mean you've never grabbed your child before he walks into a new homeschool gathering and said do not mention that we watch duck dynasty or that we butcher rabbits for meat or that we let you stay up until midnight!
Liar.
I know that at least once in your homeschool career you've stopped at the door, bent down to your sweet child and advised them the other moms don't need to hear that your favorite song is Gangnam Style and we skipped church last week because we overslept and you don't know your multiplication tables yet and you and your father once played Minecraft for 23 hours straight!
Homeschooling moms can fall into a very sticky trap. We want everyone to think we're a certain type of family, even if we're not. We want everyone to believe we're a certain kind of mom/woman/person and that our kids are certain kinds of kids, even if its not true. We want to project the image that we're all Homeschool Mama Extraordinaire...even when none of us really are
Why do we do that?
What do we gain by pretending our life is something it isn't?
What are we helping by pretending to be people we aren't?
Nothing. Not one flippin' thing. And you know what's worse? When we aren't real, we're missing out on some of the most awesome, honest, helpful relationships we could possibly build in these tough, stressful homeschooling years.
Homeschooling is hard, and these other parents we're pretending around are the very people we should be honest with. These are the people who will cheer us on when we feel like throwing in the towel.
If homeschooling is real life, then we need to be real. That's the only way we will know who's really going to help us when things get really hard.
We ate cookies for breakfast this morning. No apologies. :)
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I'm talking about! We had chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting. :)
DeleteHa Ha! This could be a therapy session where we list all the things we are embarrassed to admit.
DeleteHey - it's FREE therapy!
DeleteI have no idea what you are talking about. I am sure I have *never* done anything like that :) Sarcasm aside, you are so right. This probably applies to all aspects of life- homeschooling and parenting especially and it is sad that we feel we can't be our true real selves and I am sure it's not helping our kids' self esteem to be asked to "hide" who they are.
ReplyDeleteYup! How can we tell our kids to be themselves...if we aren't? :)
DeleteI have scared a couple of homeschooling Moms away by being "too real". Oh, well!!!
ReplyDeleteTheir loss, I'm sure! :)
DeleteHi! I just came across your blog while searching hs'ing groups in my area. I LOVE this post. I haven't really started homeschooling my child(ren) yet (my oldest is in an online school, so that's "kind of," and my youngest still attends the local school), because I am so afraid. I'm afraid of being judged by people who don't homeschool, and I'm afraid of being judged by those who do. Mostly because I am "that kind of mom" more often than not. I switched my daughter into MNVA because she was struggling in school with math, which was causing her confidence and feeling of self-worth to plummet. But making the switch hasn't really helped her LEARN or catch up... it's more of the same, except I have to fight even harder it seems like, to get her to do it. Not because she is actively misbehaving, but because she "doesn't get it," and there aren't any real opportunities for help through the school itself. On the flip side, we aren't wanting to homeschool for any real religious reason, and I don't want to be judged for that. I am a Christian; it's just not a factor in my choice. And then all of those fears of "can I do this, should I do this, am I motivated enough, what will work, what will people think, where do I find support in my area, what are the laws, who do I talk to????" come into play. UGH!!! LOL... sorry for the ramble, I'm glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me smile. :) We all have things we may be embarrassed about, but we shouldn't ever ask our kids to lie for us.
ReplyDeleteHaha...love it! Too funny, only because it's true.
ReplyDeleteAnd a little sad too- that we can't just be real.